TEXAS – Several Mendacity Springs ISD kindergarten classes were sent into extreme hysterics yesterday when a mathematical error took the life of orphaned baby panda, Snuggles Smiles-A-Lot. Zoo officials are still investigating the mishap that happened early yesterday afternoon, saying only that there was some question if the zoo had six or seven Barbary Lions in captivity.
“The children were screaming, crying, and running in every direction. I’m sure they’ll have nightmares for months, if not years. I personally have never seen anything so horrible in my whole life,” comments a still shaken teacher, Laura Zipskin.
After a long interaction with the kindergarten students, the docile Snuggles Smiles-A-Lot was put into a large wooded and water environment usually reserved for the Barbary Lion den. While the kindergarten classes looked on and Snuggles Smiles-A-Lot got familiar with his new environment, a testosterone-crazed, hidden and hungry Barbary Lion by the name of Drake pounced on Snuggles Smiles-A-Lot, ripping him to pieces in front of the group of children, educators and zoo officials.
Written by Dignan