The Original UnOriginal: Movie Posters at large. » Movie Reviews http://theoriginalunoriginal.com We believe in nothing. Tue, 08 Nov 2011 08:35:44 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The Taking of My 725 http://theoriginalunoriginal.com/movies/movie-reviews/the-taking-of-my-725/ http://theoriginalunoriginal.com/movies/movie-reviews/the-taking-of-my-725/#comments Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:04:42 +0000 Dignan http://theoriginalunoriginal.com/?p=1206

I want to know who thought of the laptop. Who was it? Stand up and be accounted for, because you deserve to be punched in the face! I’m talking a brute-powered, bone-shattering, Tyson-in-his-prime blow to the skull! What the hell? Anyway, I want to get something off my chest up front and save you some money:

  • Travolta gets shot on the Manhattan bridge by Denzel
  • Denzel gets a half, instead of a full, gallon of milk to his wife

Read the rest of my Taking of Pelham 123 review and see the HD trailer after the jump.

Neither of which, after investing 106 minutes, I cared much about. I just saved you and your friends $7.75 for per matinee ticket, so let me get back to the laptop. You see, when they “take Pelham 123,” one of the terrorist knocks a laptop off a teenager’s lap, who’s conveniently about to have webcam sex with his teenage girlfriend on a public-transportation, wi-fi-less subway car. The webcam’s active, conveniently never goes to sleep, and offers a live feed to the terrorist’s faces and actions. This, you think, would present a perfect opportunity for the good guys to have an edge against the terrorist who’ve had months, if not years, to plan this particular operation down to an exact and methodical science. But… that doesn’t happen. You see, even if you’re savvy enough to successfully hiijack a subway car, take hostages, get wi-fi into the tunnel, monitor both the stock market and press from a little laptop, and out-think the NYPD’s every move to the very end, it’s completely plausible not to spot a 15-inch laptop under a seat in a subway car that happens to be broadcasting live on the fictional version of CNN or MSNBC. And while the live laptop feed is being broadcast to the whole world, the girlfriend is in her apartment, alone, terrified for her boyfriend’s safety and barely clothed. The only major revelation to come out of this laptop is the identity one of the terrorist as a former MTA worker.

I’m wondering how many people caught this? I almost stood up in the middle of the movie to take a vote, but I didn’t want to wake the only other person in the theater. This ridiculous jump from logic took me away from the suspense-filled conflict of whether or not Denzel would get milk home to his wife. Would they have milk for tomorrow morning’s coffee and cereal? Would it be skim, reduced fat, or whole milk? Would it be a half-gallon or full?

Maybe I’m not qualified to give an objective critique. Maybe I can’t step back and suspend my disbelief and just take a break from reality. This movie has one of the finest actors of the last quarter century in Luis Guzman and even he can’t bear the stench long enough to hold up this steaming pile to movie-goers. Fuck, I want my money back… and I bet you will too if you.

Related Blogs

Written by Dignan
like what you've read, click here to give this author a higher rating at blogskinny.com]]> http://theoriginalunoriginal.com/movies/movie-reviews/the-taking-of-my-725/feed/