We're told a simple blog post from an ex-Hollywood publicist-turned-blogger making the rounds on the internet started it all. In his post, the blogger claims that Gyllenhall’s homosexuality is the “ worst kept secret in Hollywood. ” Convincing Ledger’s coked-up Hollywood publicist that we’re respectable suicide counselors, Original Unoriginal got the opportunity to speak with Gyllenhall’s Brokeback Mountain co-star Heath Ledger by phone early Tuesday evening.
“I’m the fucking Joker, but it looks like the fucking joke is on me,” says Ledger in a barely audible, despondent tone.
According to sources, Ledger reportedly locked himself in a bathroom and vomited for three hours straight upon hearing the rumor that Jake Gyllenhall is a homosexual – from more than one hundred of his closest friends.
“My friends think I’m a fag now. I get up to 30 text messages every hour,” comments a broken Ledger.
Heath and Jake became close friends while filming the critically-acclaimed, Academy Award-winning Brokeback Mountain in Canada roughly three years ago. In the film Ledger and Gyllenhall portray two cowboys who meet during a summer job and forge a complicated, and ultimately tragic lifelong romance.
“He always talked about that fucking stupid fucking Stanislavski shit. Brando, Dean, Lee Strasberg, Stella Adler…he really sucked me in.” Ledger begins to sob quietly through the phone. “I guess it wasn't a secret on set that he stole one my shirts that I used in the film from wardrobe. Life isn’t worth fucking living anymore.”
Attempting to calm the near suicidal Ledger, Original Unoriginal chooses perhaps the most inappropriate method acting quote of them all:
“Well Mr. Ledger, why didn’t you try acting?”
We hear silence on the other end of the phone, followed by either the sound of a cell phone being thrown into a wall or a gunshot. Developing…
Written by Dignan
