One of the most frigtening things you will every watch:

Notice that nobody has a wide stance . . .

You read the title right. It's usually pretty hard to shock me, but this one really worked. Sex with manta rays, eels (don't pull out too fast) and contracting STDs are common on the open seas.

"Almost everybody in the fishing business has had sex with a manta at some point," Makeburu asserts.

What!!! A manta??? You mean one of those enormous, intimidating winged things with a stinger on their tail that looks like an aquatic Batman?

Yep. After all, fisherman out on ships spend a loooonggg time at sea without ever encountering a woman, and, well, let's face it, they can get pretty horny. No, dammit, let's make that incredibly horny. Even desperate enough to do it with a manta.

We're told a simple blog post from an ex-Hollywood publicist-turned-blogger making the rounds on the internet started it all. In his post, the blogger claims that Gyllenhall’s homosexuality is the “ worst kept secret in Hollywood. ” Convincing Ledger’s coked-up Hollywood publicist that we’re respectable suicide counselors, Original Unoriginal got the opportunity to speak with Gyllenhall’s Brokeback Mountain co-star Heath Ledger by phone early Tuesday evening.

“I’m the fucking Joker, but it looks like the fucking joke is on me,” says Ledger in a barely audible, despondent tone.

According to sources, Ledger reportedly locked himself in a bathroom and vomited for three hours straight upon hearing the rumor that Jake Gyllenhall is a homosexual – from more than one hundred of his closest friends.

“My friends think I’m a fag now. I get up to 30 text messages every hour,” comments a broken Ledger.

Heath and Jake became close friends while filming the critically-acclaimed, Academy Award-winning Brokeback Mountain in Canada roughly three years ago. In the film Ledger and Gyllenhall portray two cowboys who meet during a summer job and forge a complicated, and ultimately tragic lifelong romance.

“He always talked about that fucking stupid fucking Stanislavski shit. Brando, Dean, Lee Strasberg, Stella Adler…he really sucked me in.” Ledger begins to sob quietly through the phone. “I guess it wasn't a secret on set that he stole one my shirts that I used in the film from wardrobe. Life isn’t worth fucking living anymore.”

Attempting to calm the near suicidal Ledger, Original Unoriginal chooses perhaps the most inappropriate method acting quote of them all:

“Well Mr. Ledger, why didn’t you try acting?”

We hear silence on the other end of the phone, followed by either the sound of a cell phone being thrown into a wall or a gunshot. Developing…

756 starts at 100K, 755 for 40K less.

In France, a tax official scammed his government out of 600,000 Euros ($820,000) by creating a fake identity as a professor at an unnamed university. Our hats are off to him for the first 14 years he got away with it.

Education Ministry officials uncovered the scam in June and began legal and disciplinary action immediately, Budget Minister Eric Woerth said in a statement.

He said he "desired action to be undertaken urgently to prevent a recurrence of an abuse of this kind."