If you look at this picture, please face Syracuse (Tom's birthplace) on your knees and do a quick prayer to our personal Lord and Savior, Tom Cruise. 

It may not have the visual sexuality of the Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape, but a collection of long-time college football broadcaster Keith Jackson's answering machine messages to his wife, Turi Ann, has been making the rounds on various web sites lately.The messages, compiled onto a CD and apparently taken withtout permission from the beloved and avuncular Jackson's home by a guest, are rife with with the homespun (if highly sexual) imagery that has been Jackson's trademark for over fifty years and suggest Jackson's bedroom persona may not be all that different from the one he's shared with football fans.

An example:

"As I gaze out across the Texas hill country, with the sunset boasting its colorful gamut from amber to indigo, and a possum-huntin' moon already high in the sky, I am forced to recognize a protuberance to the south of my own ample equator. This titan of trouser-town cries out for your recognition, my dimpled bride. It faces a third and long and only a head-first plunge into your musky swamp will satisfy the trembling, lusty-voiced, hundred thousand fan throng that is the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl of my libido."

No word on whether Jackson's ubiquitous phrase "Whoa, Nellie!" appears on the recording.

Senator Byrd loves dogs and apparently doesn't care much for Michael Vick. Byrd's a compassionate, caring man – with INTEGRITY! And while we're on the subject, lets not forget that Senator Byrd was a member of the KKK. He's done a great many things for the country like personally filibustering the Civil Rights Act of 1964 for 14 hours straight.

Barbaric! Barbaric! 

Several explosions and a large fire rocked an industrial company near downtown Dallas Wednesday morning.

The business, Southwest Industrial Gases, Inc., is a welding supply company. It went up in flames at about 9:30 a.m.

CPDRC Inmates dance the 'Jumbo Hotdog' by The Maskulados.

Rough English translation:

If you really want to follow me: Jumbo Hotdog. Can you take me? Can you handle me?

I don't know why they sing this is prison…or wait, maybe I do.

Red Dawn
Scarface
Wall Street
Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia
Caligula
Stalag 17
Birth of a Nation
Stir Crazy
Summer of My German Soldier
Hang ‘Em High
The Elephant Man
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
American Psycho
Penitentiary
Penitentiary II
Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS
The Iron Giant
Knute Rockne All American
Midnight Express
The Buena Vista Social Club
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot
I Shot Andy Warhol
Good Will Hunting
The Gang that Couldn’t Shoot Straight