Somewhere, the Russian version of Farmer Ted is thinking that all his wildest sexual fantasies have come true.  Thousand of young girls ready and willing to indulge in sex for “The Motherland.”  There are tents setup in a place called the “Love Oasis.”  Here’s the catch – It seems Russia’s population is in some sort of jeopardy: 

Attendance is monitored via compulsory electronic badges and anyone who misses three events is expelled. So are drinkers; alcohol is banned. But sex is encouraged, and condoms are nowhere on sale.

Bizarrely, young women are encouraged to hand in thongs and other skimpy underwear – supposedly a cause of sterility – and given more wholesome and substantial undergarments.

Attempting to raise Russia's dismally low birthrate even by eccentric-seeming means might be understandable. Certainly, the country's demographic outlook is dire. The hard-drinking, hardsmoking and disease-ridden population is set to plunge by a million a year in the next decade.

Yesterday's welcoming meeting for a new memeber of the sales team at Peachbutt, Inc. was cancelled after four minutes due to poor staff behavior.

Clancy Peachbutt was attempting to introduce new Vice-President of Sales, Harry Growcock, to his (Growcock's) new coworkers and staff but was unable to complete his welcoming speech because all in attendance save Mr. Peachbutt and Mr. Growcock were overwhelmed by fits of laughter and giggling.

"I can only assume that our people were laughing about some unrelated joke or something seen on television last night," said Mr. Peachbutt.

Mr. Growcock went directly to his office without addressing the room, but was heard to say "Oh, grow the fuck up" to a colleague.

"Hey, after a number of years working for this company I've pretty much gotten used to the boss' name," said one employee on the condition of anonymity. "But seriously, if you're gonna introduce a guy by the name of Harry Growcock, you've gotta give us a little warning in advance so we can try to keep it together."

Mr. Peachbutt's Executive Assistant says the meeting will not be rescheduled.