Sex on the Beach? A Blow Job? A Buttery Nipple? An Orgasm?
Forget those same ol’ shooters, our mixologists are shaking up fresh quaffs just in time to kick of your summer of saucin’. Try one of these great shots tonite!
Lucky Nutsack
- 2 oz. Bailey’s Irish Crème
- 2 oz. Frangelico
- 2 oz. Dry Sack Sherry
- Chill and strain into rocks glass
- Deny homosexual urges
Plumber’s Crack
- 16 oz. Milwaukee’s Best Lite
- 2 Squirts GoJo Orange Handcleaner
- Strain through mesh-back hat
- Mist with WD-40
- Sniff retained fecal matter trapped under fingernails
- Lament dropping out of high school
Happy Day Laborer
- 1 bottle premium tequila
- 1 roll sod
- 3 chlorine pool pellets
- Splash of lukewarm gardenhose water
- Shake with landscape rocks
- Serve under punishing mid-day sun
- Use to sublimate guilt for perpetuating ever-widening income gap
Kitty D
- 1 bottle rubbing alcohol
- Swig as needed or until optic nerve swells causing blindness
Grandpa’s Backwash
- 3 oz. Lavoris mouthwash
- 1 jigger Old Spice aftershave
- Dust with Gold Bond Medicated Powder
- Add twist of Brylcreme
- Garnish with Pollident tablet
- Scratch knees incessantly and complain about inferiority of contemporary ideas/morals/products/entertainment ad nauseum
What’s the Hasslehoff
- 1 chilled bottle Jagermeister
- 1 chilled bottle Grecian Formula
- Blend, alternately sipping and rubbing on scalp
- Wallow in abject mediocrity
Written by Dignan
